Friday, January 11, 2008
Everyone thought it was just a rumor. But then no one thought they would be working for a company called BANG either.
But could it be possible that Muckrakers management in their constant search for depth might actually be interested in adding a veteran shortstop, who can't hit a curveball, thinks softball is for girls and isn't afraid to punch out team officials?
Could it be true? Is Ron Ellis really going to be donning a Muckrakers' jersey next season?
"We'll do whatever we have to do to improve for next season," Muckrakers manager Chris Wagnon said. "If that dude can still do a 40-inch digest, then he can play for me."
Reaction from the Muckrakers was mixed.
"Whatever," Dave Taxier said. "Whatever," Mike Gale said. "Whatever," Randy Striegel said. "Whatever," Luke Abbott said. "Whatever," Dave Alcorn said. "Whatever," Chace Bryson said. "Whatever," Ben Enos said. "Whatever," Jose C. Fajardo said. "Whatever," Jon Madden said. "Whatever," David Morrill said. "Whatever," Mat Petersen said. "Whatever," Kevin Schuler said. "Whatever," Dre Thurston said. "Whatever," Mike Yurkus said
"Well, let me ask you this," Rick Hurd said. "What's taking him so long to decide? This wouldn't happen if I was in charge. That's why the Deadliners win championships. Because of strong leadership, damnit."
While Ellis was seen sporting a Muckraker t-shirt in public, his life-long companion Skippy Gotsill cautioned against reading too much into it.
"Boffo will wear anything for a price," he said. "I once offered him money to wear leather and damn, if he didn't do it. I liked it, though."
Attempts to reach the grizzled veteran were unsuccessful as he was reportedly answering another prep call and trying to sort out his feelings for a BANG online sports editor. But his publicist, Ryan Lambert (who, we might add, has quite a flare for his job), did release a statement.
"Mr. Ellis will neither confirm nor deny any interest in returning to the field, either with the Muckrakers or the Indians or even in the WNBA," the statement read. "Mr. Ellis wants to thank all the Muckraker fans for their love, but he also wants them to know that under no circumstances will he give out any autographs, not even to members of the Space Club."