The veteran ballplayer announces his retirement, contemplates his existence, then comes back. It's a scenario played out again and again ... but rarely while wearing orange pants. Yet the Muckrakers are blessed by this twist on the time-honored formula with the addition, or should we say re-addition, of savvy right-hander Mike Wolcott, who once toed the slab for Your 'Rakers and has opted to do so again, Favre-like, for the upcoming Fall League.
Thus, it seemed like a good time to sit down and chat -- or at least, exchange e-mail -- with man-about-town Wolcott, the Pirate Who Looks at 50:
Muckraker Blog: Why are you coming back?
MW: I was motivated by Roger Daltrey's upcoming "Use It or Lose It" Tour. I look at this as more of a "celebration of my softball career" than an actual comeback. My only goal is to have my comeback last longer than Michael Jackson's. Just to play it safe, I've brought his entire medical team aboard.
MB: What role are you seeking to play with the team?
MW: I'm hoping to land the role of Willie Mays Hayes. If not, I'll take Clu Haywood.
MB: Do you expect to fit in well with your teammates?
MW: I'm much more concerned whether or not my teammates will fit in with me.
MB: You're deep in plans for WallyStock, an enormous venture. Are you confident this won't be a distraction in your softball play?
MW: Not at all. It's all part of my vigorous physical fitness program to ensure I make it through the festival.
MB: What is the condition of your orange pants?
MW: I'd say slightly to moderately overweight, just like me.
MB: Your favorite Buffett song?
MW: Today, it's "I'm Looking for a Smart Woman in a Real Short Skirt." Sadly, I don't expect to find her at the ballpark.
MB: Do you like it when Scraps rubs up against your leg?
MW: Ever seen a grown man naked?
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