Hot Chasers go young

By Wally Ikon
Blog correspondent
WALNUT CREEK — Inspired by the bold roster moves made by the Giants over the weekend, Hot Chasers manager Chris Wagnon said today he's considering "gutting our roster like a fish" in an effort to get rid of some old weight.

"If we're going to get our read ends pounded in every week — no Hot Chaser pun intended — I'd at least rather do it with guys who don't need a walker or a wheelchair to carry their sorry butts off the field," Wagnon said.

It has been a tough few weeks for the winless Chasers, especially for the team's sizable over-40 contingent. Mike Lefkow is out for the season after suffering a serious head injury believed to be caused by a fall in a recent game. Dennis Pimentel, Dave Taxier and Joe Roderick have all suffered painful game-related injuries and aging hurler Mike Wolcott is suffering from what psychologists call "a really, really painful case of wounded ego" from his horrible season.

In fact, Wolcott is said to be especially downcast over Lefkow's injury, noting "I threw the pitch that, ultimately, almost killed Lefty."

As best anyone can remember, Lefkow fell while attempting to corral a foul popup.

"Personally, I think he fainted from shock,'' Wolcott said. "That was the only ball hit against me all season that didn't look like it was shot out of a friggin' cannon. Geez I suck."

Wolcott has nonetheless been nominated to start Thursday's game, and said he is dedicating the start — which could well be the last of his fabled, folly-filled 37-year career — to Lefkow.

"If I take another loss this week," he proclaimed, "it'll be the last the Willow Pass Field ever sees of me or the orange pants."

When informed of this statement, Pimentel smirked, shook his head and said "Yeah, right. I don't even know if I'm quitting and I don't even know what that means."

"No comment," said Mike Gale.

Meanwhile, Wagnon has been seen lurking around lots of Little League and high school fields lately. The Chasers sincerely hope it's for scouting purposes.